Luke eats stuff. Mostly his sleeves and the collars of his shirts. I have no idea why he does this and have pleaded, cajoled, hollered, begged and bribed....and still, he chews.
This week alone he has chewed the thumbs off his brand-new FINGERLESS gloves, the sleeve off a sweater knitted especially for him, the collars from two undershirts and the tip off his limited edition "Olympic" red mittens.
This morning, as I rummaged through the mitten box for yet another pair of mittens, I gave him a stern lecture:
"Luke, if you chew through these mittens, I won't buy you another pair and your fingers will freeze in the cold and then they'll fall off and then you won't be able to play video games or pet the dog we might get one day."
(I shall take my parenting award now, thank you.)
Tonight, I stood chatting with the sitter while Luke got himself dressed to come home. The boots were fine, his coat collar too and the sleeves of his sweater were fully intact.
And then I tugged Luke's hat/mask over his face - it's grey and covers his head, neck and ears, while his eyes, nose and mouth peek through a hole in the middle.
As it dropped past his nose, I let out a shriek: "LUKE! You ate your hat?!!"
Luke grinned through the newly-chewed "mouth-hole."
"I needed it to breath, Mummy."
"But Luuuukkkke," I wailed, "There's a BIG hole here, for your mouth. See?"
"I saw. But Mummy?"
"Oh Lord, love a duck! What, Luke? WHAT?"
"I didn't eat my mittens!"
I laughed until I cried.