The Bitches United, as I've taken to calling them in my head (and thusly hashtagged on Twitter) will be hanging in Calgary, being brilliant and witty and looking gorgeous. It's what they do.
In the meanwhile, I want Kelly to feel entirely welcome to the greatest country in the world. She's from Texas, so Cowtown won't be a HUGE surprise, if she happens to spot a dude in a cowboy hat. I wanted to send her a toque and some maple syrup, but just in case ' Canada Post doesn't get it together in time, I've settled on a playlist for her journey.
Please feel free to add your own "Quintessentially Canadian" tunes, eh?
Dear Kelly (American Woman),
Soon you'll be Alberta Bound - how excited are you? For Five Days in July, right? The Word Bitches are anxiously Waiting for You in Canada and I just know that you'll have a wonderful time. I hope that it's warm enough to sit outside, wine in hand, gazing at pretty Patio Lanterns.
A long, long time ago, Calgary Used to Be Our Town but I beat a hasty retreat back to Whistler, toque and wussy-it's-way-too-frickin'-cold ass in hand. It was the place I loved best and where I knew I was destined to live. If not for a long time, I was there For A Good Time.
If you were here, I'd bring you to Bobcaygeon, which is pretty cottage country and quintessentially Canadian, especially if you're from "There's No Place Like This" Ontario. But since you're all the way over there, way past The Wheat Kings, I'll be happy for you from afar.
Just don't be looking to be Drawn to the Rhythm of the sea or anything. Calgary's got the Bow River and that's about it. Unless you get to drive - hope the Truck doesn't Get Stuck - to Banff, (singing "Life is a Highway") where you'll be awed and overcome with the perfection of the place and think, "Hallelujah!"
I am delighted that you'll be able to spend real face-to-face time with the Bitches - they're sisters, mentors and friends, all rolled in, aren't they? It's as if they urge all of us who dream in quill, "Let's Go Higher!"
All they ask of themselves and of you, is to Try, right? I've no doubt that being in their real live presence will inspire you and bring your heart much joy - as though they've held out their arms, saying, "I Will Give You Everything!"
Enjoy yourself, my friend. May every day you're here be no Ordinary Day. And know that wherever you travel, you are loved and admired and that maple syrup and real poutine are but a plane ride away.
Love,
Belly
P.S. When it comes time to go Home for a Rest, remember it all fondly.
