Love Letters?

Dear Canada Post,

Perhaps you've not noticed - the Internet is changing the way the world communicates. You can't possibly expect us to believe that you're overworked and underpaid. Perhaps you're lonely and looking for attention?

Grow up. Ante up. Give it up.

Sincerely,
Occupant
Belleville, ON



Dear UPS,

Helllooooo, there, hot stuff! Loving the uniform shorts, your quick and affordable same-day service and the fact that the UPS driver waves back. Thanks for being you. See you soon!

Love,
Lizzie-Poo


Dear City of Belleville,

Yes, it's a bit dusty here on Charles, but thank you for the complete and sorely-needed street overhaul. The crews are professional and quick, friendly with the kids standing agog on the porch, eager to help AND they look awesome in hard hats.

You won't be getting any complaints from this taxpayer. Nope. Not from here.

Sincerely,
Happy "Friendly City" Dweller


Dear Ovaries,

Enough, already. First it's baby lust, now it's guy-in-uniform lust.  I sincerely hope that this is not harbinger of menopausal behaviour to come. For now though, cut this crap out. It's embarrassing.

Liz


Dear Children,

Please forgive Mama for the furniture-moving, the random sobbing, maniacal laughter and my obsessive need to slobber all over other people's babies. It will pass, my darlings. Trust me, you are all that I can handle need.

Love,
Mummy

Giving God the boot...

Seems that Luke - darling curmudgeon Luke -  has given God the boot:

Luke spent a good portion of yesterday telling me, retelling me and not-so-gently reminding me that God lives in his heart. In fact, he let the whole neighbourhood know, every chance he got:

Man-cutting-down-tree: Hey there, big fella!
Luke: God lives in my heart.
Man: Uh....
Me: Sorry. He's just learning the "God is everywhere" thing.
Man: I'm not a religious sort...
Me: Oh, that's alright. Luke doesn't mind. And since God lives in Luke's heart, I reckon He doesn't either.
Man: Uh....right.
Me: You didn't see the humour there, did you?
Man: Uh...no. Sorry.

Evangelist [ɪˈvændʒɪlɪst] n
1. (Christian Religious Writings / Bible) any of the writers of the New Testament Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John
2. (Christianity / Protestantism) a senior official or dignitary of the Mormon Church 

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

Today, my wee apostle spent the morning with my friend Heather. This is what she posted to my Facebook wall, after snack:

Heather: Luke would you like a glass of water?
Luke: God died.
Heather: Pardon? Would you like a glass of water?
Luke:  God died. He died yesterday.
Heather: Here's your water, li'l man. Drink up!

I am sensing some Divine Intervention in Luke's future. Or therapy. Whichever...

And you? Got a fickle evangelist in your family?

Wishes with Luke

Some of my favourite days are "Luke Days" - when Matthew is at school and the day stretches long before us: Undone. Fresh.

These are dawdle days - when the walk home from dropping Matthew off takes an hour, because we've stopped to inspect every blade of grass or sat awhile petting "Snots", the fluffy, dog-like animal around the corner.

Yesterday, Luke was particularly charming and adorable: he'd run ahead, twirl around a tree and then race back to dangle from my hand, chattering non-stop.

At the edge of an otherwise immaculate lawn, Luke spotted a large and puffy dandelion - perfect for blowing into the morning air. He stopped in his tracks and I watched as pure delight bloomed across his freckled face.

"Mummy!" he breathed, his voice low with awe and wonder, "look at that wishing flower! It's HUMONGOUS!"

He plucked the weed from the grass with a grin and held it out to me: "Let's wish together, Mummy. This flower is so big, it will hold two wishes."

He closed his eyes, concentration marring his brow. I kept mine open, reveling in the moment.

"OK, Mummy? Let's blow!" And so we did, watching the fluffy seeds sail into the sky, filled with hope.

"Good wish, Mummy?"
"Good wish, Luke."

Indeed.

Wish # 1: Matthew

Wish Come True # 2: Luke


And you? Which of your wishes have come true?
What have you wished for lately?

30-Day Challenge

One of my oldest and dearest friends (Moe, whose real name is Tracy but no one ever calls her that. In fact, for close to two decades my mum thought her name was Maureen) rang tonight. With a challenge:

Every day, for 30 days, I will post something on my blog and she will write another page of theawesome and  A.MAZ.ING novel she's been working on.

By June 30th, at 10 pm, she will have two more chapters in and my brain will have exploded.

So, lucky readers, 30 posts from Bellymonster.

Ready? Set? GO!

Finding More Happy...Behind the Wheel

It must be the sunshine, but I keep finding things to be happy about. In no particular order, for no particular reason, I have been delighted by lawn mowers, traffic lights and strangers on the highway.

First, a conversation between Matthew and Luke, earlier today:

"Walk this way, Luke. Carefully. Carefully! Go slowly!"
"I am. I'm walking just  like Mummy!"
"Let's go outside...wait, Mummy locked the door. Let's just dance!"

As the "genderless baby" debacle debate continues, I reckon my sons have got it all sorted:

 When in doubt, just dance! Put on your black heels and dance!

Ahem. But I digress....

The List

It's mostly car and driving related, as this past weekend, we clocked almost 800km in two days:

Honourable Mention: On Friday, my across-the-road neighbour, Nick, mowed my lawn. Which means, we went into the long weekend with a decent-looking front lawn and he no longer has to look out his window and see the dandelion bouquets that dot the yard. Apparently, it also takes a village to upkeep the 'hood.

1.Advanced green traffic lights. Being the second car in the turning lane - there's no pressure to get moving the second the arrow turns green AND it's easier to gauge the turn when someone else does it first.

2.When the person in front of me in the Tim Horton's drive-through pays for my coffee. Why? Because it's Monday. God bless kind-hearted, coffee-loving strangers.

3.Full tanks of gas at the beginning of a long drive. Newly-created CD's for the drive (think "mixed tapes, only better!") We love duets - the cheesier, the better. Well, I love duets. Mark just sings along to get along.

4. Travelling with strangers: following/passing/waving at strangers in the cars around us on a long drive. We have been known to follow others into rest stations, wait for them to gas up, share a laugh and continue travelling with them along the 401. Is that weird?

5. When you pass a car and everyone in the car is laughing uproariously about something, so you laugh, too. Closely related: when a stranger in a restaurant or grocery store has an infectious laugh - watch the faces of those around you as they try - and fail - to remain impassive. Most can't. Sometimes, you just gotta join in, even when you've no idea what's goin' on.

6. Sunshine, windows down, hair slicked back, sunglasses on:  Don Henley's "Boys of Summer" on the radio. Bliss.

7. Having sons who cannot wait to experience all of the above:

What's making you happy these days? Any driving shenanigans?