Thursday, June 2, 2011

Love Letters?

Dear Canada Post,

Perhaps you've not noticed - the Internet is changing the way the world communicates. You can't possibly expect us to believe that you're overworked and underpaid. Perhaps you're lonely and looking for attention?

Grow up. Ante up. Give it up.

Belleville, ON

Dear UPS,

Helllooooo, there, hot stuff! Loving the uniform shorts, your quick and affordable same-day service and the fact that the UPS driver waves back. Thanks for being you. See you soon!


Dear City of Belleville,

Yes, it's a bit dusty here on Charles, but thank you for the complete and sorely-needed street overhaul. The crews are professional and quick, friendly with the kids standing agog on the porch, eager to help AND they look awesome in hard hats.

You won't be getting any complaints from this taxpayer. Nope. Not from here.

Happy "Friendly City" Dweller

Dear Ovaries,

Enough, already. First it's baby lust, now it's guy-in-uniform lust.  I sincerely hope that this is not harbinger of menopausal behaviour to come. For now though, cut this crap out. It's embarrassing.


Dear Children,

Please forgive Mama for the furniture-moving, the random sobbing, maniacal laughter and my obsessive need to slobber all over other people's babies. It will pass, my darlings. Trust me, you are all that I can handle need.


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