Sunday, February 13, 2011

20 Ways to Say, "I Love You!"

I am not a particularly romantic person.

I don't care for candlelit dinners, although that's not to say I won't happily eat by candlelight. It's the eating bit that I like best, not the loving words or seductive background music.  To me, the trappings of romance made popular by Hallmark society feel false and contrived and I resent the expectations - unspoken or otherwise - that come with store-bought sentiment or champagne flutes on a beside table.

I cover my face during cinematic kissing scenes, late night phone-chat commercials and ones advertising Viagara. I am easily flustered by things like rose petals, anything piped by Yanni and lingerie. By easily flustered, I mean "completely freaked out."

I am not a cuddly sort of woman, either - at least, when it comes to people other than my children. Once my husband and I have finished..erm..."being close" I  don't crave cuddles or soft words. Instead, I crave space, the cool side of my pillow and no one's feet touching mine. That's  it. That's all.

Mark on the other hand - he is a romantic fellow, in spite of my best squashing efforts. He likes sitting close on the couch, soft lighting and lingerie.(Me: "I'll take off my flannel and socks as soon as the room is pitch black.") and would whisk me off for a romantic (read: child-free) weekend once a month or so if,

a) we could afford to and
b) he somehow tricked me into it.

Alas, money, time and his wife defeat him. My poor, poor husband.

Despite ourselves, we have survived 7 years of marriage and have been driving each other crazy since 1999. (Sooner, if attending the same high school counts. He drove me crazy then, too. But I digress...) During that time, I've come to realize that we express our love for one another in ways that makes sense only to us and that Hallmark will never be able to sucessfully market.

It's an everyday, ordinary romance...and I wouldn't change a thing.

Top Ten Ways My Husband Says "I Love You!"

1. "I filled up your car with gas and there's a new jug of windshield-wiper fluid in your trunk."
2. "Go get a new dress for the party. New shoes, too."
3. "Sorry, I'll just move my feet over here."
4. "Here's a coffee. The kids have eaten breakfast."
5. "Is this the right brand of tampon? I got confused in that aisle..."
6. "I love your ass."
7. "Thanks for dinner, it was great!"
8. "If I was too tired to drive, I'd feel safe going to sleep while you drive."
9. "I saw this J.D. Robb book at Shopper's. You haven't read this one, have you?"
10."I'm sorry."

Top Ten Ways I Say "I Love You!"

1."It's only receding a bit - no one will notice."
2. "Dinner's in the oven."
3. "Here's your coffee. The kids have eaten breakfast and lunch."
4. "I shaved my legs."
5. "I saved $15 on groceries this week, just by clipping coupons."
6. "I called your mom, emailed your sister and your aunt and sent our replies for Rob's wedding. The hotel room is booked and my parents are taking the kids. I plan to shave my legs."
7. "Want me to rub your back?"
8. "I tagged you in my Facebook status."
9. "I shovelled the drive."
10. "I'm sorry."

And you? How do you and your looovvvaaahhh say "I love you?"


  1. A great list. Me: "No worries. I'll put the kids to bed [again]."

    Husband: "Just buy it" and "Do you want a cup of tea?"

  2. I tell my husband I love him when i clean and he tells me he loves me when he says "i'm making tea" and "no- don't get up- i'll deal with it (the screaming /whining/ puking /peeing child in the middle of the night)because "you also have to work tomorrow- doing the most important job ever-raising our children"

  3. Funny how caffeinated beverages are such popular love currency!

    That and the drudgery of domestic life. Chores. And the nocturnal idiosyncrasies of little people...

  4. He says he loves me by telling me to get out with my girls once a week, or to go for a run, or to go get on the computer while he wrestles with the kids.

    I say I love him by making cookies for him, by hanging up his wet towels, and for buying him new toothpaste before the old one runs out.