How Babies (And Marriages) Are Made: A Lesson From the Monitor

Kids are so funny. And curious. And are the reason I still use the baby monitor...

Resident imps at the House of Leprechauns

Saturday night at bedtime: I sat between the boys' bed, chatting quietly with them in the dark and listening to Luke name his body parts, beginning with his head: hair, forehead, eyes, chin. He traveled down, cheerfully naming them all, until he got to his privates.

(Gird yours now, because it's about to get...informative... around here.)

"And this is my pee-pee!" he announced, triumphantly, in that way of boys the world over. "But Mummy, what are the things after my pee-pee?"

"They're called testicles."

"Those bally things are called testicles?"

"Yep. Testicles."

"What do they do?"

While I willed myself to breath, Matthew jumped in, "It's where the seeds to make a baby are."

Said Luke, "Seeds? In the testicles?"

Matthew: "Yeah. The seeds make a baby in Mummy's belly. They stay in the testicles, kind of like when chipmunks store nuts for the winter."

*Brief pause here for me to die laughing, in my head. *

"Matthew's right." I said briskly, hoping to end the entire dialogue, and be quick about it. Alas, I was not quick enough, because Matthew had more to share:

"Then the seeds come of Daddy's pee-pee and he puts them in Mummy's belly and they grow into a baby."

Wait for it, dear readers......wait for it............

"How does Daddy gets the seeds from his pee-pee

 into Mummy's belly?"

Somewhere along the way, Mark (listening from downstairs) had the good (?) sense to grab the camera and record the rest of this unexpected and awkward conversation, via the monitor.

 It's a bit hard to hear, but if you turn your speakers up, I'm confident that you'll be able to hear me cringing as I fumbled my way through.

Hint: Listen for the incredulous and horrified, "YUCK!" from Matthew.

I'm also confident that (when you've finished giggling, at my expense) you'll join me for a Baileys wee drink. 

After that mess of a conversation, I reckon we could all use one!

And you? How have/will you handle(d) your kids' important (but awkward) questions?