L. and I were talking the other day, about everything and nothing and those moments - the ones that you want to live in forever, because they are perfect.
It's been awhile, I'll confess, since I was stopped dead in my tracks by that unmistakable, "God is in His Heaven and all is right with the world" feeling. WAY too long, actually.
And then today...I had one.
It certainly wasn't a perfect moment - not joyful, not bliss. In fact, it downright sucked.
Matthew has taken to imitating Luke - his cries, his laugh. Matthew crawls when Luke does, splashes toilet water when Luke does, copies his younger brother's clapping, his squawking. Every. Damned. Thing.
AGGGGGHHHH!!!
At bedtime Matthew wanted my attention. Badly. So, while I nursed Luke to sleep across the hall, my beloved firstborn stood in his gated doorway and waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllleeedd. Screamed. Demanded. Cried. Stomped. Kicked. And waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiillllled some more.
I think my blood actually boiled.
Finally, when he'd woken poor Luke for the fourth time, I'd had it. Arranged hiccup-sob-sleeping Luke in his crib and stormed into the hallway. Yanked Matthew up over the gate and fairly tossed him into the playroom: Is THAT what you wanted, Matthew? OUT???
Silence.
Defeated, I unhinged the gate and sat on his floor, waiting, fuming, raging. In he came, confused, a little wary, maybe a little bit afraid.
"Mummy, will you snuggle me?"
Oh.
And of course, this tired, fed-up, WITCH of a mother, did. Climbed into his Thomas the Train bed and wrapped myself around him as best I could. He leaned back against me, sighed and then reached up to tug my hair:
"Thank you, Mummy," and fell asleep.
It certainly wasn't pretty, this moment. But it has burned itself onto my heart forever.
Thank you, Matthew. Again. Always.
Mama
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Untitled
If my marriage survives until the end of 2008, it will be no small miracle.
In fact, it may very well take a miracle. Except that I'm too tired to pray for one.
.
.
.
Carry on.
In fact, it may very well take a miracle. Except that I'm too tired to pray for one.
.
.
.
Carry on.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Climb Ev'ry Mountain..uh, Staircase!
Luke: In the kitchen, playing contentedly with fridge magnets and mixing spoons.
Matthew: In bed, not so much with the contented, reading books and not sleeping.
Mummy: Marching back and forth between the playroom, tossing toys into any available container and her bedroom, folding a never-ending pile of laundry.
Luke: Thump! Whack! "Ga-ga-da-mmmmmaaaaaaammmaaa!" Thump-thump!
Matthew: "Outside, inside, inside down!" (Berenstain Bears)
Mummy: "Tra la, la!" Folding, tossing, marching. Folding, tossing, marching.
Luke: Thud! "Fzzzzzzz...ga-ga-mmmaaammaa!" Thump.
Mummy: Hmmm...wonder what Luke's doing? March into kitchen.
No Luke.
Whirl around...check under table.
Nope. No Luke.
Luke: "Ga! Waaahhhh!!!"
From the TOP OF THE STAIRS!!!!!!!!!!
Omigod, my heart. It stopped.
Note to self: Luke climbs stairs. You idiot.
Matthew: In bed, not so much with the contented, reading books and not sleeping.
Mummy: Marching back and forth between the playroom, tossing toys into any available container and her bedroom, folding a never-ending pile of laundry.
Luke: Thump! Whack! "Ga-ga-da-mmmmmaaaaaaammmaaa!" Thump-thump!
Matthew: "Outside, inside, inside down!" (Berenstain Bears)
Mummy: "Tra la, la!" Folding, tossing, marching. Folding, tossing, marching.
Luke: Thud! "Fzzzzzzz...ga-ga-mmmaaammaa!" Thump.
Mummy: Hmmm...wonder what Luke's doing? March into kitchen.
No Luke.
Whirl around...check under table.
Nope. No Luke.
Luke: "Ga! Waaahhhh!!!"
From the TOP OF THE STAIRS!!!!!!!!!!
Omigod, my heart. It stopped.
Note to self: Luke climbs stairs. You idiot.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
The House That Love Built is FOR SALE!
After six loooooooooooooooong months, Mark has been offered and has accepted a job in Napanee.
Yiiiippppeeee!!!!!
Now:
Dear God,
Please send the right person to our door. Send the one who will step over the threshold and say, "This is where I belong," like we did.
Please let the house that love built be someone else's prayer...and guide them home.
Yiiiippppeeee!!!!!
Now:
Dear God,
Please send the right person to our door. Send the one who will step over the threshold and say, "This is where I belong," like we did.
Please let the house that love built be someone else's prayer...and guide them home.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Leaving Luke
I wrote my parent three pages when I first left Matthew overnight. What follows here are two pages, for my friend A. I'm leaving Luke with her to attend a wedding. 10 hours, all in.
Sheesh. You'd think I was leaving for a week.
Wanted to post it here, just because:
Please DON’T hesitate to call, for any little thing. I promise not to call every hour, although I will likely call once or twice because, well, he’s my love-bug and I’ve never been parted from him for more than two hours. Eek!
Have also attached copies of his birth certificate and Health Card stuff, should something go terribly awry.
He has no known allergies and no health conditions. He does, however, like popsicles.
Phew! Nothing like a novel, eh? Sorry. I ramble as much on paper as I do in person – it’s a gift and a curse!
That said, thank you SO much for having him. I feel at ease and happy that he’s with you, A, as he has a twinkle for you and you can get him to sleep when no one else can. I appreciate both the time to reconnect with Mark and the chance to let Luke unfurl his wings, just a bit.
Liz
Sheesh. You'd think I was leaving for a week.
Wanted to post it here, just because:
Luke-isms
Luke loves crawling and pulling up to stand. On anything – the sofa, the wall, your leg, your boob, the potty, the toilet, the TV stand….you get the picture. If left to his own devices, he’d stand and climb all day long. In fact, just today, he climbed UP the stairs of the ball-pit slide at the Pumpkin Patch. My boy is a cute and darling menace!
Luke loves crawling and pulling up to stand. On anything – the sofa, the wall, your leg, your boob, the potty, the toilet, the TV stand….you get the picture. If left to his own devices, he’d stand and climb all day long. In fact, just today, he climbed UP the stairs of the ball-pit slide at the Pumpkin Patch. My boy is a cute and darling menace!
Ode to Luke
He likes toys that squeak and some that peep
And ones that wobble down the street.
His favourite toys are ones to chew,
Including toes and fingers, too!
He tries to dance and loves to clap,
And loves when fingers snap, snap, snap!
When nap time comes, he likes to cuddle,
Though Snuglis work, when in a muddle.
He may take a bottle, then again, may not:
When it comes to milk, he’s a bit of a snot.
But in the end, you’ll know what’s best:
Feed him some “o’s” when you need a rest.
He’ll likely (hopefully, ideally, but let’s not count on it) nap around 3-ish. His naps are odd – sometimes he’ll go down for ages, but not usually for more than 45 minutes at a time. He’s soothed by low noise and conversations, so you could sit and discuss the sad state of the world or plan a trip down East, and he’ll happily snooze nearby. Mostly, he likes sleeping ON someone, so if you’re up for a drooling leprechaun, have at it!
Clearly underfed and malnourished, Luke will eat practically anything you put in front of him. I’ve packed some jarred butternut squash, plus some sliced blueberries, along with Cheerios (which you can scatter across the floor and watch him follow and gobble, just for fun!) and biscuits. If you’re comfortable feeding him bits off of your plates, he’d appreciate that, too!
Bedtime varies. I usually bathe him around 7:00 and attempt/try/cajole/give in/give up/fail to put him to sleep around 8:00 to 8:30. As of this writing, he’s come awake twice, just to snuggle back down within minutes.
I’ve packed some Camillia tabs for teething. If it seems that he’s suffering from teething issues, one capsule is like magic. Two should do the trick, about ½ an hour a part. He can take Tylenol and Motrin too and doesn’t mind a swig of whisky, here or there! (Ha, ha!)
My cell: 289-***-***
Linda’s (Mother-in-law) cell: 123-456-789
He likes toys that squeak and some that peep
And ones that wobble down the street.
His favourite toys are ones to chew,
Including toes and fingers, too!
He tries to dance and loves to clap,
And loves when fingers snap, snap, snap!
When nap time comes, he likes to cuddle,
Though Snuglis work, when in a muddle.
He may take a bottle, then again, may not:
When it comes to milk, he’s a bit of a snot.
But in the end, you’ll know what’s best:
Feed him some “o’s” when you need a rest.
He’ll likely (hopefully, ideally, but let’s not count on it) nap around 3-ish. His naps are odd – sometimes he’ll go down for ages, but not usually for more than 45 minutes at a time. He’s soothed by low noise and conversations, so you could sit and discuss the sad state of the world or plan a trip down East, and he’ll happily snooze nearby. Mostly, he likes sleeping ON someone, so if you’re up for a drooling leprechaun, have at it!
Clearly underfed and malnourished, Luke will eat practically anything you put in front of him. I’ve packed some jarred butternut squash, plus some sliced blueberries, along with Cheerios (which you can scatter across the floor and watch him follow and gobble, just for fun!) and biscuits. If you’re comfortable feeding him bits off of your plates, he’d appreciate that, too!
Bedtime varies. I usually bathe him around 7:00 and attempt/try/cajole/give in/give up/fail to put him to sleep around 8:00 to 8:30. As of this writing, he’s come awake twice, just to snuggle back down within minutes.
I’ve packed some Camillia tabs for teething. If it seems that he’s suffering from teething issues, one capsule is like magic. Two should do the trick, about ½ an hour a part. He can take Tylenol and Motrin too and doesn’t mind a swig of whisky, here or there! (Ha, ha!)
My cell: 289-***-***
Linda’s (Mother-in-law) cell: 123-456-789
Please DON’T hesitate to call, for any little thing. I promise not to call every hour, although I will likely call once or twice because, well, he’s my love-bug and I’ve never been parted from him for more than two hours. Eek!
Have also attached copies of his birth certificate and Health Card stuff, should something go terribly awry.
He has no known allergies and no health conditions. He does, however, like popsicles.
Phew! Nothing like a novel, eh? Sorry. I ramble as much on paper as I do in person – it’s a gift and a curse!
That said, thank you SO much for having him. I feel at ease and happy that he’s with you, A, as he has a twinkle for you and you can get him to sleep when no one else can. I appreciate both the time to reconnect with Mark and the chance to let Luke unfurl his wings, just a bit.
Liz
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